Hiking-

Always my favorite way to spend time, Second is reading. I think that the need for new Data is the strongest request from my brain. How shared is that trait?  My mom once expressed the same relating to the cute little robot from the movie "short circuit" he would say in his robot mimic voice"need Input". Anyway thats what makes me tick, and gets my mind onto something worthwhile to process, so that it can let go of the ridiculous garbage that will stress me out for weeks otherwise.  Its like the biblical warning against an empty mind. My mind is going to endlessly ponder whatever I let it- so I have to make sure and keep it busy with good stuff. We had a Dog growing up- " Poverati", the best dog, he wasn't always 'good' but his INTENTIONS were the most wonderful any creature could show his human family. He would get into sooo much trouble if left alone. He could Climb or go through fences, chain link, wood, didn't really matter. And one time he went right through the wall between our garage and living room. We had to settle on a huge chain tied to the giant tree in the front yard, much to the chagrin of people who happened to try the front door wearing any kind of uniform. He hated those for some reason. He loved McDonalds- dad would take him for rides in the truck and when they went by a mcdonalds dad would buy him a hamburger- Later in life that kind of turned into a bad habit. He realized that the mcdonalds was only 3 blocks from our house and started escaping to go beg. The restaurant staff had our home # and would call to tell us to come pick him up/

 Orchid-  past bloom

 Very cool Anual inflorescence of the Saprophytic; pterospora adromaedaes, Biggest I've seen at 4'

 Cornus Canadensis with a few last blooms

 View of Mt Hood

Long story short, I need something good to occupy my mind, or just like Pov, I'll get in trouble! So the Hiking, History, And Plant Taxonomy. I took some pics on my last hike- it was a short but great run up the north side of Hood from the end of LOLO up hood on the PCT to the snowline, and then down in the dark. hope you like the pics!

wow i haven't heard this in years!

A '63, 10,000 miles. What was I thinking? I drove myself insane. No small getaway. Asleep with both hands on the wheel. White knuckle weekend. Chewing ephedrine. Going to an unnamed end. Unending... We met in rain, you asked me in. Seemed like a good sign. Now I need a guillotine To get you off my mind. I brush my teeth until they break. Until I start bleeding. So when I smile I'll know I'm almost good enough for you. And would you... Follow me to the end of the dare. Raise your eyes, return the stare. Become your words. Your words so becoming. On any Sunday I'll be there. I tried to drink you off my mind. I just got wasted. It only made the pain that much more acute. But cute isn't strong enough a word. Unintentionally gorgeous. An accidental charm. A graceful drinking arm. Disarming


My favorite song at 18 yrs old -  bragging that I could drive/ think/ eat/ carry conversation/ while sleeping. bashing my head too many times skiing, falling in love with someone who lived too far away who was destined to haunt my existence, as a muse, for too many years, impairing so many things along the way-...  I was working for my fathers contracting company, cleaning carpets in superstores( shopko ) all over the western half of the US smacking an unsightly number of deer (especially in Nebraska) driving the v10 van at 90 all night, and devoting a regular chunk of daytime to a ministry work.     


Dad had to resort to throwing my shoes at me to wake me up some mornings!

Cataplexy and Frequency

Hi,   I'm Ben. I have been hanging on the every word from Trish's Sleeping around blog since the little tv show. I have an alarming level of cataplectic activity(non-activity?)Somewhat unlike Matt I seem to have the most disturbance by my symptoms at work rather than at home. I cannot say hey look at this spreadsheet without an infuriating fight to try to speak legibly or the terrible pause while they wait for me to get to the point that i can get it out. I text and email alot. I participate in weekly bible study related activities as a part of my faith,A wonderful loving group of people, but I am having the hardest time with being able to enjoy that. I am so petrified by my need to keep calm and to myself. I can't talk to anybody or it comes on. I just sit there like a lump, maybe I'm too proud/ scared to let people see me like that? You're right Trish, it sucks-    by the way, about the frequency/ resonance from the planes affecting Matt. I have different responses than Matt for sure, but planes, power lines, electric motors, laptop fans, certain movement types within the peripheral field, all have an adverse affect- not the same as an attack, more of a stupor and an increase of attack frequency-  Good napping,    Ben

Thanks

Thanks everyone-

As I titled that, a hard day, they pile up. You bull through one after another, hitting priorities, and trying not to worry about the rest until bam! those moments that used to be the only chance for sweet still introspection and calm, are now a land mine of all those potentials and worries that you just don't have time to worry about otherwise. Thats why I so fondly remember enjoying time alone, but now can't stand it, when my family is not at home for a few days, just leaves too much time to sit alone and stew.

Going better, looking to get on a program involving a sleep aid, and lower doses of stims-  Narcolepsy Network has been a great help in filling some of the voids and misconceptions that I've had. I still very much would like to meet and talk to others in the area with similar symtoms of N/C

I take solace, and get alot of strength in making myself useful. I've been  able to volunteer on the design of a new non-profit construction project quite a bit lately. And helped a friend on his house. The design work(Landscape) is what I really love- I have a bit of a gift when it comes to understanding plants, and habitat systems, I really enjoy getting to implement restorative principles to the landscape schemes of construction projects. I would like to find more outlet for Consultation and Native Design work, on a non-profit basis, maybe some day that will turn more into a career.

I need to make a major change in my day to day system, some of the things I do to make most of it work, are not healthy long term, and leave major holes in; the role that I want to play/ believe I must be involved in, within my family and belief system. Which stresses me out to no end. I just don't clearly see yet what options  I have. And despite myself am afraid to try...