hard day

Hello this is ben, K most of the time I can keep it together pretty well, I consider myself intelligent, creative to a fault, and positive. However, I can't stop fixating, and letting this take over my life, and family interactions- I want to scream!! sometimes..., I can't see a way out. I don't have insurance for myself, my new job was going to be my relief on that, but because of tough times is now changing stance on enrolling additional management personnel dadadada right after my second month here! I've had a couple of great conquests at work today, that usualy helps, but not today, I dropped the phone mid convo today talking to a vendor cause i fell asleep, while on three dexidrines, and a provigil, 5 coffees and only protein powder for lunch(carbs make me sleep)......... provigil and dexidrine are not doing enough, and are already taking too big a bite out of finances. we're behind like 2 months on all our bills, even though I've taken on 6-700 worth of side jobs every month, my wife does not enjoy me, spends most of her time at her moms house, or out with her friends, I dont spend enough awake time with/for my two little girls.

i'll figure it out, i always do. its just too much for too long, and I've become a little too lonely lately.. thanks for being people/ place that I do not fear getting this out in front of. Ben

Meet up in Portland OR Aug 30 6:00

narcoleptics of the world (defined as within accessible distance to a mutually acceptable meeting place in or near portland, beaverton, hillsboro or.) unite and take over!     get hold of me and give input!   drawpsr@live.com

Matt-Trish?  (please)

portland or, Narcolepsy / Cataplexy

Hows it goin, ?  I'm Ben   Having difficulty coming to terms with Narcolepsy. I have been working to get a group together in PORTLAND OREGON to meet and discuss both narcolepsy and cataplexy, with a focus on coping, treatability, and making this joy a little easier for my poor wife.    say hi If you come across this, are up, and reasonably close to join.       Ben