Why do I still feel ok?
When everything is wrong, my heart feels like a panicked horse tied to a wagon full of fear. Head aches
SO tired. I want so badly to share in my families life- I want to feel love from my wife. For all that's happened, I wouldn't give a minute of the time we shared. I just can't imagine a love that was so wonderful to be dead? Life is overwhelming, my girls are so wonderful! I love to catch acacias eye from across the room! She told me how she danced with Kymira at a wedding last saturday, I AM MISSING SO MUCH!! Its like already being dead. I miss my wife, I miss her worrying about me, I miss having someone to talk to. I'm crying alone, my heart hurts its pounding so hard, but all I can think about is how amazing, and wonderful my life has been. I am happy with who I am. I make mistakes yes, I fail and flake. But I am good. I love, my wife so much. I have two wonderful daughters. Life amazes me, its enough to watch, and feel- it takes my breath away, its so beautiful, what we can do and share. This is a wonderful world, it even has a place for me